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RYANDSMITH
An American citizen living in Tokyo
Articles Posted: 15; Links Seeded: 30
Member Since: 2/2008Last Seen: 10/02/2009
Member Since: 2/2008Last Seen: 10/02/2009
12 Comments
PrintThe Myth of the Young Innocent Japanese Women
News Type: Opinion — Sun Feb 24, 2008 2:18 PM EST
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In the west there is the image of cute, sexy young(18-30) Japanese women who would not know the difference between a penis and a hotdog. This is nothing more than a myth and one which needs to be shattered.
The gaijin(non-japanese) come to Tokyo with wonder in their eyes and lacking any knowledge about the culture they are about to enter. They noticed many things about Tokyo. They check out Tokyo tower and all the interesting temples. They also notice the cute and what appears to be innocent attitude of the young Japanese woman. Many of the gaijin take the attitude of, `oh look how cute she does not know anything about the world. We should protect her from men taking advantage of her.` The women smile and accepted how they are treated by visitors in Tokyo. Inside many of the women feel insulted and wonder what they have done wrong to get such a reaction.
The culture of Japan is very subtle and many social rules are unspoken. The culture of Japan is considered by many to be mysterious; and for good reason. The Japanese feel little need to explain their way of life. They tend to look at the outside world as odd compared to how life is like in Japan.
In Japan it is still very much a man`s world, despite a lot of reform, from a cultural stand point. The men of Japan are more complex, when it comes to their emotions and relationships, then any where else in the world. The men do not like to share their emotions with the women. A women sometimes spends years trying to get the man they love to open up and share his emotions more freely.
The young Japanese woman act so innocent and cute because their culture demands this kind of behavior. Women who show too much strength in their personality are viewed as unattractive and a whore. The Japanese men do not want a women who may push them too much. A women who might force a man to share his feeling and thoughts is view as a bad and not good for a relationship. The women must behave as though they know nothing about emotions and the way of the world in order to get the men to pay attention to them.
A man who is very open and friendly is viewed as very attractive for young Japanese women. Men who allow them to be themselves and relax will get a lot of attention. This also causes much confusion among gaijin men as to the young women of Tokyo. I often go to one of the many fine English pubs in Tokyo to have a few drinks and watch a soccer match. Many gaijin visiting Tokyo also like to go to the English pubs around the city. As well, many young Japanese women enjoy the pubs due to the excitement and atmosphere that gaijin create when watching sports.
I have experienced such a large misunderstanding of Japanese culture by gaijin visiting Tokyo that unwelcomed conflict, in the opinion of Japanese, sometimes occurs. The gaijin men visiting Tokyo get the idea that they have to protect some of the women from men who might take advantage of them. I am already in a relationship and happy with the woman I love; so I don`t really look for women to sleep with when I go out. Although, I have a big, open, friendly, personality that the Japanese women respond very well to often. At a crowded pub it is easy for me to have several women laughing and have fun with me quickly. The gaijin men take this as a threat both to them and the women. Usually gaijin men visiting Tokyo do not like it when the women give attention to another man. They feel that they cannot look so cool or appear to be a guy who can protect the women. After a while they will come up to me and want to feel me out. They ask me where I am from and try to explain to me that the women are innocent about things. I just go along with them and let them like me. The Japanese women do not like it when men act as if they are protecting them. They feel that men who do that act like kids at the school yard.
The young women in Japan are not so innocent. It is their culture which shapes their behavior. They know full well how the world works. They spend a lot of their time watching and listening to everything around them all in an attempt to try and understand the men better. Japanese women develop a deep understanding of emotions and male behavior. They know when a man is good to talk to and spend time with and who just want to sleep with them. In fact, sometimes all the women wants to someone to sleep with for one night. The myth of young Japanese women as being innocent is there because outsiders want to come to Japan and see women who are easy to trick into thinking that gaijim are all good guys. The women know better and laugh in the inside.
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{"commentId":1503512,"authorDomain":"Henryvii"}
Fairly good article, if not incredibly stereotypical. I must caution you that all of Japan is not like Tokyo, just as all of America is not like New York.
{"commentId":1503512,"threadId":"224478","contentId":"1322254","authorDomain":"Henryvii"}
- 3 votes
#1 - Sun Feb 24, 2008 3:10 PM EST{"commentId":1503531,"authorDomain":"ryandsmith"}
I know that full well. What I am trying to show is that the west image of the cute helpless Japan girl is just not true at all.
{"commentId":1503531,"threadId":"224478","contentId":"1322254","authorDomain":"ryandsmith"}
#2 - Sun Feb 24, 2008 3:14 PM EST{"commentId":1503595,"authorDomain":"Henryvii"}
Yes, buy from my experience in rural Japan, young innocent girls do exist. The same could likely be said in some parts of every nation. It's just that such a girl is not the norm, as you mention.
{"commentId":1503595,"threadId":"224478","contentId":"1322254","authorDomain":"Henryvii"}
- 1 vote
{"commentId":1503647,"authorDomain":"ryandsmith"}
{"commentId":7867759,"authorDomain":"gamma235"}
It sucks that there are cockblockers out there, but some girls are timid while others are looking for a fling and if a girl likes you, then you won't have to worry about the hero getting in your way. Stereotypes are inevitable and there are plenty of irrational ones on both sides of the cultural divide. I know what you mean about the protective act being a nuisance, but the truth is that nobody will consider any woman in Japan that goes to a bar, especially a gaijin one, to be an innocent and dainty kind of girl. Plus the show of innocence versus actual innocence, which I also encounter (though not just in Japan, mind you) are very easily discerned. The thing that chaps my hide, though, is not the protective bravado but the sense of invincibility that a lot of gaijin have. They think that Japanese girls are easy and submissive and therefore deserving of being mistreated. They also think that Japanese men are a bunch of sissies and endeavor to outmarvel them with their zany gaijin antics and brazen advances toward Japanese women. There must be more rape in Japan, because a lot of Japanese women genuinely are too shy to say "no" if they don't want it.
I guess I see where you are coming from, but ultimately you are barking up the wrong tree: I haven't seen many of these hero type gaijin in Tokyo since I moved here almost a year ago. And I got to the bar lots :)
Peace
{"commentId":7867759,"threadId":"224478","contentId":"1322254","authorDomain":"gamma235"}
{"commentId":1609035,"authorDomain":"dynaudiorules"}
Just a small facet to a very large multi faceted culture and gender. You might have mentioned that the women in Tokyo are different than the women in Osaka or Kyoto or the North and South. Each area within Japan has a kind of a small sud-culture that is a bit different that other parts of Japan. And the women I might ad enjoy seeming innocent as it adds to their attractiveness, it enhances the young pink image of youth. It also serves to ad as a shield to those outside their personal circle, once within the circle you are likely to get a chance to meet the real person who is probably not as polite nor as innocent as you think.
{"commentId":1609035,"threadId":"224478","contentId":"1322254","authorDomain":"dynaudiorules"}
- 1 vote
#3 - Sat Mar 22, 2008 4:20 PM EDT{"commentId":6292268,"authorDomain":"jazz-standard-10016"}
Some good points. Many gaijin seem to have one social toolbox that they carry everywhere. Well a lot of those "tools" don't work, are not suitable, cause misunderstandings,etc in Japan.
I would suggest gaijin guys forget the John Rambo "Hero" style when they get to Japan. Most of these women have money to spend, safety and are not just waiting for you to come and "rescue" them.
{"commentId":6292268,"threadId":"224478","contentId":"1322254","authorDomain":"jazz-standard-10016"}
#4 - Fri Apr 3, 2009 1:24 AM EDT{"commentId":7157339,"authorDomain":"mrjamesglenn"}
Japanese women that pay attention to foreign men know what they're doing. They're called yellow cabs. I'm giving a warning to all foreign men, especially in NYC to watch out when taking on a possible Japanese girlfriend. These women are CUNNING, SELFISH, and CALCULATED. All they want from a foreign white male is marriage and a green card. Black men on the other hand, also watch out, because these women prey on black men for sex. That's the only reason they are with black men. The media has a lot to do with putting emphasis on the black phallus and black style. If you're looking for a woman that likes you for you, a Japanese woman is not one of them. She likes you because you're a brother. If she has to go back to Japan for any reason, most likely she will be having affairs in love hotels with other black males (most women who sleep with blacks in Tokyo have a stable of AFRICAN men that are living in Japan). It's an ugly truth. Although they are good looking and act innocent, these women are downright ugly on the inside. If she hails from Tokyo, or any region right around there, that's a red flag right away. If she even pays attention to you as a foreigner, that's another red flag. She's been with MANY foreigners, black and white. If you get to know her, ask casually if she ever goes to bar HUB or one of the various nightclubs in Shibuya or Rappongi (Gas Panic, The Room). If she frequents these places, dump her FAST if you have been seriously dating her. Japan is a notoriously closed society, and these "yellow cab" women who pay attention to foreign men do this with great intention. Many who travel to the US (particularly NYC) are here on their "work visa" or "student visa", but it's all a guise for a 3-5 year sex tour with MANY men. Just remember, you're not special in their eyes. You're just another black or white male for the night. WEAR CONDOMS, and try to keep your feet on the ground.
{"commentId":7157339,"threadId":"224478","contentId":"1322254","authorDomain":"mrjamesglenn"}
- 1 vote
#5 - Tue May 19, 2009 7:18 AM EDT{"commentId":7589561,"authorDomain":"ryandsmith"}
{"commentId":7867808,"authorDomain":"gamma235"}
I think this scenario is an exaggeration and represents an inner-fear of black and white men living in Japan or looking to date a Japanese girl. People are people and some are looking for love. You just need to read the person you're going out with to see what they're really in it for. If they start pulling some ho @!$%#, you just dump em and move on. Aint no thang. But yes, I would never date a girl seriously I met at the HUB. haha. though I might play along for a while ;)
{"commentId":7867808,"threadId":"224478","contentId":"1322254","authorDomain":"gamma235"}
#6 - Fri Jun 26, 2009 7:09 AM EDT{"commentId":8002990,"authorDomain":"desirelessnodreams"}
I have been in a relationship with a Japanese woman now for five years. I love her with all my heart.
She on the other hand is heartless. Was warm, carring, loving, at first. In fact for the first 6 months to 1 year. Once she had what she wanted the sex just plain stopped, I mean stopped dead, non, from 100 mph to 0 in 2 seconds flat. Once we moved into our own home with her daughter from a previous marriage, she never touched me again, for nearly 3 years I would touch her and the sex would have been better from a blow up doll. I have not had sex with her for over 6 months now, not a kiss, not a tender touch, I mean NOTHING. I don't want to now, outside of me touching her, she has not touched(no exageration) me in over 3 years. Its just plain wierd. I spoke with another friend who is married to a Japanese woman and has been for over 15 years, he says they(japanese women) will have sex untill they have 2 children, or their desire to have chilren has been quenched then the need or desire for sex is gone. He has not had sex with his truly beautiful wife in many months as well.
When I first started dating my better half, the sex was...well...the best sex ever, and she couldn't seem to get enough, I was late every day for work and when I asked her for a break, she wouldn't hear of it.
So my warning to men, not limited to any race even Japanese men, 1., don't have sex with a woman, any woman until you marry them. 2 Never, NEVER, marry a woman who has been divorced, under any circumstances (I know what I'm talking about). 3, If a woman has children save yourself some grief, run away, I love my daughter from my better halfs previous marriage, and many times she is the only, ONLY, reason I stay, I have no kids of my own, but I'm the only father she has had constant contact with.
Japanese men are quiet, if you have married a Japanese woman, you know why.
I have no idea if all Japanese women are like this, infact I'm dead sure they are not all the same, as I have had a similiar relationship with a British woman, however the Japanese woman is loyal, the British woman was not.
We men are looking ideally for partners, female best friends, companions, Japanese women can be Ideal, but on thier terms, they are bright and cunning. Do not be fooled and do not fall into the trap. Find a good woman((race has nothing to do with it) culture does), make her your freind, respect her, spend a year getting to know her, make sure she gets along with your family, Marry her under Gods law((whatever God)mine is Christ) then have sex with her, have some children and Love her only, with all her problems and wierdness till you die, love her first then your children, then your parents, and you will be happy.
{"commentId":8002990,"threadId":"224478","contentId":"1322254","authorDomain":"desirelessnodreams"}
#7 - Fri Jul 3, 2009 9:21 AM EDT{"commentId":8124013,"authorDomain":"ryandsmith"}
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